#stayathome made me do it

after convincing myself for these past 2 years, here i am writing in 2020.
i almost wanna do it a couple of times, i swear. but i find it sooo strange, doing blog at 22, since all i ever wrote here was about my youth days.

but just, let me try.

well, as we all know,

there's coronavirus, spreading all around the world, made us all staying at home.
i mean, we-who obey the rules- are.
it's been 3 months already i've stayed inside.
kinda depressing for the first few weeks.
but now i actually started to find myself comfortable hahaha it's kinda scary.
at least, staying at home pushed me to do my blog again, right?
there are always good things in bad times, they said.

i miss eating junk foods, i miss vacation, i miss going out.
and i miss my friends!!!!
geez, i wanna hug them so bad.
i got a long list of people i wanna squeeze after corona days, but i really am waiting for the day to reunite with my little circle that we called ourselves Duta Wacana.
we meet almost every day and it's so hard not to see them in months.
we did our quarantines together earlier before these corona things getting worse at Coco-Lawa-Fakhri's kontrakan, only for days sih, but quarantines with them felt so fun even we were just doing nothing.
speaking of which, katanya mereka udah ngga akan ngelanjutin kontrakan dan aku sedih banget. mungkin aku doang sih because that means no more nonton film malem-malem, no more "it's ceret time", tidak lagi punya basecamp. sad.

hhhh anyway,
besides coming back to the blog, staying at home for months made me learn some things.

here's the list.

1. i learned that spending too much time on the phone is actually soooo boring??
my phone's screen average time decreased from week to week, it's quite impressive.
i barely check my phone, not replying to any texts quickly, but still wonder why i haven't found my lover yet hahahaha. silly me turn from "i don't need a boyfriend" to "where can i find my soulmate??". this situation kinda change people, isn't it?
maybe because having a lot of free times got me easily overthink, it strikes again and again hahahahaha i know i cringe at myself too!!!

2. i overcame one of my biggest fears from this work-from-home situation: i had my virtual proposal test done.
even tho i failed, and i need to do a re-test. and it scares me even more.

a friend told me that i should take the previous one as a warm up but i don't find it helping at all for now. i'm so nervous. anybody please pray for me i don’t think i’m ready.

3. i found out some things deeper about myself. and i tried to make peace with the demon in me.

it's still in progress but at least there's progress, right?

ummm, what else?
oh, 4. i cooked a lot!! well, i actually am not that bad. at least that’s what my mom thinks. and 
5. i learned to play ukulele, but still, i suck at it.


i honestly have no idea what else to write,
so i think that's all for now?

phew, i can't believe i can finish this one. been so long and i really found this so hard hahaha.

but i'm glad i did.
i actually am pretty happy to do this again. hoping for more! *finger crossed*

let's pray for this pandemic to end soon. i hope everybody's safe. please just stay at home. wash your hand properly. stay clean. stay healthy. wear mask. bring and use hand sanitizer.
we can get through this!!!
my prayer goes to every medical personnel, the front guards, workers that still need to leave, small traders.
and to everybody who lost their loved ones in this pandemic.

stay safe peeps!

kecup,
Sis.

just, if

if there was ever an option, i'd choose to have more sleepovers rather than go traveling places
not because i learned how Vancouver's weather was apparently too cold for me not to long for your missing embrace
nor because i got aches running out of breath, trotting around chase after your disappearing shades

but merely because it was more fun having my fingers stroking your hair whilst catching your eyes on mine solemnly admiring
merely because 3am Southampton's warmth failed to comfort and your arms wrap me around still did twice better
or partly because of your love for clementine, it's overflowing
partly it's the fact that i blossomed as beautiful as a daisy amongst the lawn because your excessive affection dew over me
or partly because i was under your spell being so vulnerable trapped like a prey, voluntarily

but i wouldn't mind sipping another more of your sweet pledges i might die sinking sugarcoated
and if there was ever an option, i wouldn't mind